Today was a better day.
I praised God again for no Cancer.
I praised God even for this potential surgery to come.

I wanted to explain my emotions. The doctors kept telling us this whole time that it was going to be a small chance that this would be malignant
just because of his age and his health. So I guess I just always pointed against the worst. Then I had a conversation with a woman of God and friend of mine who I trust whole heartedly.
I would say has the gift of prophecy. Im not sure if she would say that but I have felt this from her a couple times.
I ran into her at the mall and briefly she just said to me "Ashley I didnt feel like this was going to be an up all night prayer for Nolan, now I prayed for him..a lot. But I feel he is going to be ok. its not going to be the worst, but you are not going to like what you hear."
So with that I trusted her words and began too to feel that.
So I almost dismissed cancer. Saying God I really dont feel like this is going to be the worst news but what is it??
So when the oncologist told me this wasnt malignant it was a sigh of relief to hear it 100 percent but then for her to go on and tell us it is
very likely it is going to be a benign tumor that could be fast growing and still needs to come out I lost heart.
I was mad at God and at the same time knew my friend was dead on and correct by discerning the Spirit while she prayed over us.
I knew it probably wasnt cancer God so why is it still a tumor? Why does he still have to go through a surgery?

And I stopped....
God gave up His Son in my place.
God gave us Jesus
The pain felt by my Jesus Nolan will never even come close to. We dont deserve anything. We deserve death but yet while we were still sinners God chose to give us life.
The bigger picture became clearer.
This could have been so much worse yes. But God has already rocked our world and put us on our knees over and over again over this
and if i am being honest I have been more broken over Nolan AND other friends of mine that I have in a long time.
SO yes in our trials we are drawn to the cross.
I will praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.

I challenge you today to do the same. Take a good look at your life and weed out what doesnt matter.
Press into Jesus not because you should but because its a privilege to do so...

Leave a comment

    Add comment